What causes first-date nerves to happen, anyway?
Research reveals that unfamiliar social interactions cause stress and nervousness. Nothing exposes people to the unfamiliar more than a first date with a stranger with the hopes of your connection developing into something deeper.
Some people tend to talk themselves down when nervous, and this self-deprecating action also contributes to your nerves.
Most people get the first date jitters. They get so nervous before first dates that they actually dread going on them. It’s normal. We’ve all been there.
Now, let me tell you about one of my good friends, Mark. He saw a beautiful woman standing in front of him at the coffee shop and, getting over his anxiety, he made the first move and said ‘Hi!’ As they chatted, Mark was attracted to her long chocolate-brown hair, green eyes, and charming personality. He wanted to see her again, so he asked her on a first date. In the hours before the date, he got restless and started to feel these huge knots in his stomach. He even called me to ask me if he should cancel the date.
Does this sound familiar? Have you ever felt this nervous while dating, or when asking for a number? Well, here are some tips for calming your nerves and getting over the jitters.
1. Be Happy!
One way to take away the pressure of a date is for you to see your jitters as excitement rather than nervousness. This will reduce and calm down your nerves.
You have to feel happy because something good will happen on your date. This way of thinking can help you relax. One thing that helps me is listening to music. I’m usually jamming to one of my favorite songs right before I go into any event I may feel nervous about. This helps to relax and get pumped up so I can handle just about anything.
2. Tilt your Chin Up and Breathe
By standing up straight, tilting your head back, and taking a deep breath you can change your physiology. Taking a deep diaphragm breath puts you in alpha or a high-energy stage and you literally can’t access a negative emotion at this point. It’s really a neat thing we can easily do for ourselves.
What happens is your prefrontal cortex is activated and dampens down the amygdala, which is the fight or flight mechanism. It actually activates the nucleus accumbens, which is the reward center of the brain. You’ll feel good and get the endorphins running.
3. Stop The Negative Self-talk
Replace that negative self-talk with positivity. If you find yourself in doubt and someone in the back of your mind is putting you down, it’s time to put an end to it once and for all. Replace those words with positive affirmations. Of course, your date is interested in you. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t agree to the date in the first place. Say to yourself things such as, “I’m a great person. I am good-looking. I’m smart and interesting. This person will be lucky if I want to see them again.”
Meditation is known for reducing stress and calming down your nerves. If you want to start thinking more clearly about the realistic situations you’re in and calm down your nerves, you should consider practicing daily meditation. You will feel the effects almost immediately. If you’re not sure how, then recite a poem, a song, or a prayer. This will help to slow your heart rate and keep you calm.
5. Focus On The Present
We all know that, no matter how much we want to, what happened in the past can’t be changed. Do not get stuck in the past. Whatever negativity you have in your memory from the past needs to stay there. You can be whoever you want starting right now. You can start over anytime and the only thing that you can change is the present.
By focusing on the present your nerves will start to calm down. Try to focus on listening and responding to your date, and keep up with the conversation. This will help you to not worry so much about your jitters.These are only some of the things you can do to minimize your nerves ahead of your first date. We understand that meeting someone new is the first step to a lifetime of happiness, and this expectation can weigh people down. As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin, your first date with your future partner will go smoothly.
How do you deal with your jitters, and how do you get rid of the nerves when dating? Share your tips with us in the comment section below!
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