When you initially meet somebody, the main thing that you may think about is whether or not you’ve found “The One” for you. A lot of times it is hard to even consider the possibility that this new person may not be the right person when all of that initial excitement and hormones start kicking in.
However, numerous individuals, who have experienced “falling in and then out of love”, are worried about the possibility that they are going to wind up squandering their time with somebody who they will soon discover is the wrong individual for them. When this acknowledgment becomes exposed, you have to start from the very beginning with another person.
But some people feel as if they don’t have any time to waste. Whether or not you feel as if you have “the time” to waste, it is always important to evaluate a relationship before you become too invested. In the long run, it saves you from getting too attached and then being devastated when it ends and from the dreaded “waste of time.”
Here are 4 important things to consider before deciding if the person you’ve been dating is “the one”:
1. Relationship Goals
Obviously, you don’t want to have the “where is this relationship going?” talk too early, however, it is something that definitely needs to be discussed before you get too attached. It is important to know early what your partner’s feelings are on commitment, attachment, and even marriage.
Moving towards your goals is key to your personal fulfillment, so you and your partner should try to be aligned as much as possible. You want your relationship to always be going somewhere better; that makes it healthy and allows it to facilitate your and your partner’s growth.
On the off chance that you are occupied with finding a long-haul relationship that could prompt marriage, it is imperative to discover somebody who desires the same thing. A few people meet somebody with various relationship objectives, trusting that they can transform them. This never works.
You have to discover someone who has the same relationship objectives as you do.
2. Morality and Beliefs
While not always a definitive “deal breaker”, it is always extremely important to discuss religious beliefs, moral beliefs, and political beliefs as soon as comfortably possible in a relationship.
Generally, couples who differ on religious and/or political beliefs tend to argue a lot and this has a tendency to make the relationship fail in the long run. If you and your partner don’t have any particularly strong religious stances, you should still verbalize any other core values you have.
Interests and hobbies change over time, but core values undergo little transformation over a lifetime. This arguably makes them the most important factor for compatibility. After all, what happens when you become too old or sick to enjoy physically strenuous activities you did together before?
You can always find new interests. What’s important is you have your beliefs or core values to keep you together as you’re searching.
Sometimes beginning an association with somebody who does not see things the same way that you do is an exercise in futility. Especially when one or both people are very passionate about their beliefs. It’s a good rule of thumb to date people with the same ideals and principles as you to reduce unnecessary conflict.
3. Shared Interests
This one is debatable and dependent on personal preference but is nonetheless important. While it isn’t required to enjoy ALL of the same things as the person you’re with, it is still important to enjoy enough of the same things that spending time together is easy and fun instead of a chore.
While beliefs and core values may be more foundational to a relationship, it’s still important to supplement them with common interests. Shared hobbies and activities add real life to your time together. They let you have fun, build stronger bonds, and provide support systems.
Also, it is generally important that anything that takes up a considerable amount of time is enjoyed mutually. For example, if one of you enjoys sports to such an extent that you are always watching sports and the other person hates sports, that could be a deal breaker.
4. Future Goals
While talking about the future of the relationship is best left for a little further into the relationship, it is definitely something that needs to be discussed before either of you becomes too attached. It is important that if you see a big change in your future, like having children and/or relocating for work, this is discussed early.
A lot of times we tend to romanticize relationships and feel as if once we fall in love we’ll automatically want the same things. But that is never how it works. If the other person never wanted kids, falling in love with you probably won’t make them suddenly decide to want them.
Also, don’t forget that this doesn’t exclude you from talking about whether or not kids of your own are in your future (just because he/she has kids may not mean they want anymore).
It is critical to consider everything that you need out of a relationship and your life before you settle down. Settling down with the wrong individual is basically an exercise in futility.
For more great dating tips, click here.
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