Dating nowadays can be a minefield. On the off chance that you have had a few dates that could have gone better in the last couple of months, maybe it’s time to consider why these dates may not have gone as well as they could have.
Maybe it was something they did, or maybe you convinced yourself that the chemistry simply wasn’t there. On the other hand, it may be the case that you are committing genuine dating errors without recognizing what you are doing. Here are 4 of the biggest dating mistakes people tend to make and how to fix them:
1. Playing Games
We all know someone who is guilty of such behavior and, let’s be honest, most of us have been guilty of this ourselves at one point or another. Playing games can range from playing chicken on the first date to see who will make that initial “first move” to initiate the first kiss or first hand-holding experience to manipulating the other person into certain behaviors (sex or your preferred activity, where to eat, to agree with you in some way, etc.).
Many of us don’t consider this “game” to be manipulation, but at the heart of both things is being manipulative. The key to not playing games is to make your desires and intentions for the relationship known as soon as possible. Sure, it may be uncomfortable, but at least you will know what you’re getting yourself into and you won’t have to waste your time.
2. Being Obsessive
Sure, details are important. However, it is crucial to any new relationship to avoid obsessing over all of the little things. Don’t obsess because he/she may not have laughed at your joke hard enough or if he didn’t hold the door open for you. And don’t let yourself become distracted by what the other person MAY have meant by a vague statement. Dating should be fun, and if you’re constantly worried about whether or not you might have done something to “ruin” the night, you are sure to start conveying anxiety and making the other person feel as if you’re not having a good time.
The key is to laugh off the little embarrassments and keep the mood light. Your date already agreed to go out with you, they like you and want to get to know the real you. Not the stressed out you. Relax and enjoy the evening.
3. Not Being Rational
This one can come in a couple of forms. Either you allow yourself to be so completely swept away by your hormones that you start falling for a man/woman who isn’t right for you, OR you fail to recognize your past poor behavior that resulted in failed relationships and let these behaviors continue.
Sure, it can be hard to say no to a little bit of “fun” when you’re attracted to someone, even if they’re not the best fit for you long term, but this is never a wise decision. It is better to continue the search for Mr. or Mrs. Right instead of settling for Mr. or Mrs. Right Now just because you want to have a little fun. In the long run, this just causes too much emotional baggage.
Being unable to pinpoint the behaviors that have caused you relationship troubles in the past and avoiding doing them again is a sure way to quickly end a new relationship just as messily as your past failed relationships. It is important to continuously self-evaluate to ensure that you are constantly bettering yourself for the sake of healthy relationships. It might even help to ask your new partner for suggestions on how your behavior could be better or more productive in the future.
4. Being Too Accommodating
Don’t get me wrong on this one, compromise is a MUST in relationships. However, compromising doesn’t mean you’re always the one making the sacrifices, and the other person isn’t doing their part to compromise with you. If you’re always making all the sacrifices, you might be in for a long messy break-up. This could take the form of simple sacrifices to refusing to acknowledge red flags because the other person made you feel as if you couldn’t.
Compromise is a must. BUT you should never sacrifice your beliefs or anything that is important to you for a relationship. Don’t get into a routine of constantly ignoring bad habits. Know when enough is enough. Compromise is all about letting off the little things that don’t matter as much. Not compromising who you are for a relationship to work out. For example, let it go when he/she leaves their used cotton swabs on the bathroom counter, but don’t let it go when they don’t call when they are late for a date.
Dating can be a very nerve-wracking situation from multiple points of view. Keeping your cool and paying attention to the seemingly “little” things that can messily end a relationship is a must. While it is not always the easiest thing to do, it is essential to be thinking long-term. If you want a relationship that will last forever, you must always ensure that the situations that arise are one’s you would be willing to put up with for that long. Always remember never to settle because you feel like you’re “running out of time” you can find love at any age.
These biggest dating mistakes are just the tip of the iceberg regarding what to look out for in finding and maintaining love. Getting your partner to commit to the relationship is another challenge altogether.
For the ladies struggling to find Mr. Right and get him to commit, check outHow to Encourage Your Partner to Commit to the Relationship. The article should provide more insight into how commitment works and how to get the man of your dreams to commit.
If you’re wondering if someone is perfect for you, check out 5 Important Things to Consider When Deciding If They’re ‘The One’. You can also check us out on Facebook for more discussions, tips and advice.
Not everyone may have the time or resources to find their dream partner in today’s dating climate. This is why luxury matchmaking has become increasingly popular. It is an effective way to find quality matches without worrying about making any of the biggest dating mistakes.
Have further suggestions on dating mistakes and how to fix them? If so, be sure to leave a comment below.