How Matchmaking Works: A Matchmaker’s Guide to Finding and Matching the Perfect Couples
Why Matchmaking is Trending
If you research the latest dating app trends, you’ll likely find a mixed bag of results: some online sources suggest that dating apps will see a new membership explosion, while others argue that dating apps have hit a wall. While we’re certainly not business or economic analysts, we’ve been in the dating service industry for over two decades and know a thing or two about the dating scene.
In reality, people are sick of dating apps. At LUMA, most of our clients join us because they’re burnt out from swiping, liking, and matching into oblivion. Dating apps are notorious for encouraging surface-level connections and a “grass is greener” mindset, and singles looking for a serious, meaningful relationship often don’t make any lasting connections on these apps.
Matchmaking has been around for thousands of years, but in the current dating scene, it surprisingly stands out as a refreshing alternative to online dating. Matchmaking couldn’t be further removed from the robotic algorithms and soulless interface of dating apps, and as more singles want a personalized, curated approach to finding love, our industry is seeing an uptick in membership.
If you’re curious about personalized Matchmaking services and are wondering how it all works, we’ve got you covered! From in-depth interviews and personality assessments to carefully arranged introductions, we’ll dish out all the details on how Matchmaking works, how Matchmakers find clients, and how Matchmakers match their clients.
How Does Matchmaking Work?
Matchmaking is a meticulous combination of art, science, and intuition. At its core, it’s understanding the complexities of connection, chemistry, and compatibility, and helping guide singles on their journey to re-enter the dating scene and find true love.
Matchmaking is the complete opposite of online dating, which mainly uses algorithms and apps to find matches for its members. Matchmaking is a truly personalized, luxury experience that factors in nuances that online dating platforms simply can’t.
Professional Matchmakers work closely with their clients to deeply understand their relationship goals, values, non-negotiables, and deal-breakers. They tap into their extensive networks and databases to find potential matches, and thoroughly vet each match before making an introduction.
What’s Included With Matchmaking?
There’s really no set standard on what each Matchmaker includes with their services. Of course, the bare minimum is a personalized search for matches, but luxury Matchmakers will usually provide their clients with other resources and coaches to help them put their best foot forward in the dating scene.
We’ll cover the different add-ons Matchmaking services can include, but please remember to check each Matchmaker’s website for specific info on what their services entail!
1. Hair Stylists
Yes, you read that right: some luxury Matchmakers have professional hair stylists on call for their clients! Part of the luxury experience is perfecting your self-image, and luxury Matchmakers offer guidance every step of the way. This service is either an add-on for an additional fee or included with a VIP-level membership.
2. Dermatologists
A select few luxury Matchmakers even partner with board-certified Dermatologists to help their clients prepare to re-enter the dating scene. Although this isn’t a common service in the Matchmaking industry, clients with this option usually take advantage of it. This is usually an add-on for VIP-level membership.
3. Specialized Personal Image Profiling
Just like major brands study their overall image, singles need to know how their matches will perceive them. As the saying goes, first impressions are everything! Personal Image Profiling is usually an add-on service but is sometimes included with VIP-level membership.
4. Date & Relationship Coaching
This is one of the most common services included with Matchmaking. Many luxury Matchmakers have certified Date Coaches on staff to help their clients navigate the dating scene with confidence. This can either be an add-on service for any membership level or exclusive to VIP clients.
5. Life Coaching
Helping clients achieve all of their goals and maximize their potential is a huge part of luxury Matchmaking. The ultimate end goal is for the client to find a lasting relationship, but part of that experience is self-expansion and actualization. Life coaching is usually an add-on service.
6. Date Scheduling & Planning
Date planning is almost always included with luxury Matchmaking services. By scheduling and coordinating first dates for their clients, Matchmakers remove a lot of pressure and anxiety around dating. This is usually included with base-level luxury Matchmaking.
How Do Matchmakers Find Their Clients?
Typically, Matchmakers don’t find their clients, clients find the Matchmaker. Matchmakers have to put a lot more effort into scouting for matches than finding clients. Of course, I’m not saying that Matchmakers don’t have to go out and headhunt on occasion, but for the most part, potential clients come to them seeking their expertise.
When a Matchmaker is looking to take on more clients, they’ll typically reach out to their internal database first, attend in-person dating events, and network with other Matchmakers to fill in for any service gaps their competitor might have.
1. Internal Databases
Any established, reputable Matchmaker has access to extensive databases filled with high-profile, high-caliber singles. These databases, built over decades, are carefully crafted and continuously updated to ensure that every profile is up-to-date and accurate.
A Matchmaker seeking new clients will first reach out to singles from their database to see if they are ready to invest in their love life. Usually, when we send out an email saying that one of our Matchmakers has the space for another client, we’ll get tons of replies for our free database members.
Many of these singles join as a free database member in hopes of being paired with a paying client but eventually decide to take a more proactive approach to their love life. At LUMA, we find that many of our free database members eventually join our paid service to streamline and expedite their search for love.
Free database members don’t have access to a dedicated Matchmaker and there’s no search on their behalf; they are only contacted if we believe they are compatible with one of our clients.
2. In-Person Events
Another great way for Matchmakers to find new clients is to attend in-person events, like a dating services expo or singles mixer. Really, though, Matchmakers mainly attend these events to find matches and simply happen to gain a client or two along the way.
Any good Matchmaker strives to keep their database updated, fresh, and esteemed, and sometimes, you have to literally put yourself out there to find great singles. There are tons of Matchmaking, dating services, and other social events in the U.S. that LUMA Matchmakers attend to scout out potential match candidates.
Finding new clients through these events is more of a happy accident than a real goal. Matchmakers are natural social butterflies with cunning social prowess, so they tend to make lasting impressions on everyone that they meet.
Many singles attend these events to find a free dating service, but they end up joining as a paying client once they get to know a Matchmaker, learn more about how the process works, and the specific benefits of being a client versus being a free member.
3. Referrals from Other Matchmakers
Although Matchmaking is a fiercely competitive industry, most of us can come together to ensure every single match and potential client receives the best experience. Each Matchmaking firm has different specializations, which makes them amazing at matching certain clients, and not so great for others.
For example, at LUMA, we have Matchmakers who specialize in Celebrity, Christian, Jewish, LBGTQ+, and many other types of Matchmaking. Because we have a large, dedicated team of Matchmakers, each with unique backgrounds and expertise, we can meet the needs of most clients.
Let’s say a potential client is looking for a Muslim Matchmaking service, but they unknowingly schedule a call with a firm that doesn’t have a network of other Muslim singles. As a gesture of good faith, the firm will direct the potential client to another Matchmaker who can better serve their needs.
It’s difficult for most singles to choose which Matchmaking service is right for them, especially if they aren’t well-versed in how Matchmaking works, and this scenario plays out more often than you might think!
How Do Matchmakers Match People?
Although there’s no real standard across the industry, most major Matchmakers in the U.S. have a similar process for finding matches for their clients. The most universal aspect of how Matchmakers match people is based on compatibility.
That said, each Matchmaker takes their own route in how they determine who their clients are compatible with, how they perform the actual match search, and whether or not date planning and post-date feedback are integral parts of their process.
1. In-Depth Personality Assessments
Matchmakers are known for their detailed questions during the client interview and intake process, and for good reason! The most important aspect of professional Matchmaking is really getting to know your clients so that you can make the best possible matches.
Without an in-depth understanding of each client’s personality, lifestyle, non-negotiables, and deal breakers, curating the most compatible matches is out of the question, and you probably can’t provide a highly tailored, customizable experience, either.
Each Matchmaking firm takes a different approach to helping their clients find true love, but there are a few basic questions that every Matchmaker asks their clients to start idealizing their perfect match. Matchmakers will ask if you want children, about your religious background, relationship goals and expectations, and the age range you’d like your matches to be in.
2. Search and Vet Matches
After your Matchmaker has a good idea of the qualities you’re seeking in a match, the most exciting part of the process begins: the match search! When a Matchmaker starts their search, the first place they typically look for potential matches is their internal database. Usually, Matchmaker databases are free to join for anyone looking for a committed, long-term relationship.
Matchmakers are notoriously selective about who they pair their clients with, and it’s no wonder why: clients are expecting a luxury, tailored dating service, not something haphazard and rushed. To ensure the best client experience and that each match candidate is legit, Matchmakers will interview each match in person and conduct background checks on the client’s behalf.
Once the Matchmaker is certain that each candidate is who they say they are, they’ll pick the most compatible match from their initial search to introduce to their client. All introductions are made on a first-name basis to maintain confidentiality. From here, it’s up to both parties if they’d like to meet or not.
3. Date Planning and Feedback
Here’s where we reach the biggest divide in Matchmaking services: some Matchmakers plan, schedule, and coordinate dates for their clients, and some simply don’t. At LUMA, we handle all of the date planning for our clients to minimize first-date jitters and stress.
We can’t really speak on what happens after the match search for Matchmakers who don’t plan dates, but we can share how the date planning process usually works if it’s included with membership. We curate each first date based on both parties’ shared hobbies and interests and try to plan something that’s unique and engaging. We’ve planned everything from coffee dates to ice skating, and comedy shows to axe-throwing!
After the first date, most Matchmakers will schedule a one-on-one feedback session with both their client and their match to get an idea of what they liked and didn’t like. Post-date feedback is crucial to the Matchmaking process as it provides the Matchmaker the opportunity to get a better idea of what their client wants and needs from a match.
The match search, date planning, and post-date feedback repeat until the client wants to pursue a relationship with one of their matches or their membership ends.
How Much Does Matchmaking Cost?
One of the most pervasive misconceptions around Matchmaking is around the cost of services and how clients pay their matchmakers. I get it; most Matchmaking companies aren’t transparent about their pricing model. The truth is that Matchmaking is a luxury dating experience, and that’s usually reflected in the price. However, there’s no one set price for Matchmaking services.
Each company has varying levels of membership and pricing structures, and Matchmaking fees can vastly differ depending on the level of membership you choose and which company you elect to work with. With so many different types of Matchmaking, it’s hard to give an exact price point. We’ll lay out the average price structure for each level of service and business model.
1. Men-Only Membership
This is one of the two major business models in the matchmaking industry. With men-only memberships, men are asked to pay a significant fee while women are added to a free database. Matchmakers with this business model typically charge men anywhere between $10,000 and $1M for their services.
While women who opt into this business model aren’t required to pay, they don’t receive the same level of service that luxury Matchmaking offers. Women are not promised any set amount of dates or matches, aren’t offered date coaching, and don’t receive the supportive, one-on-one experience of having a personal matchmaker.
2. Basic, Low-Cost Matchmaking
Matchmakers on the lower end of the experience and pricing spectrum make up the bulk of the industry. Their model focuses on acquiring as many clients as possible without being overly selective or requiring background checks.
They’re able to achieve such a large client base due to their inexpensive fee structure. Basic matchmaking services may have one or two tiers of membership, but don’t offer the same level of bespoke service and pricing that luxury matchmaking can. Fees for basic matchmaking can range anywhere from $100 to $5,000 and is nearly always a subscription-based, pay-for-matches structure.
3. Mid-Tier Matchmaking
Mid-range Matchmakers are a step above basic services in that they are more selective about who they take on as clients and provide a more exclusive, tailored experience. The largest distinction between mid-tier Matchmakers and their luxury counterparts is the years of experience and quality of service.
Mid-tier Matchmakers have more of a one-size-fits-all approach and have more membership tiers than low-end services, but not as many options as luxury Matchmaking. Mid-tier Matchmaking services average $5,000 to $30,000, and are usually a one-time-fee structure or a subscription-based, pay-for-matches system.
3. High-End, Luxury Matchmaking
Luxury Matchmaking is the pinnacle of personalized and upscale dating services. Luxury Matchmakers are very discerning about who they take on as clients and usually have a client base of public figures. Dating coaching, wardrobe consulting, personality assessments, and stringent application processes are all common with high-end Matchmaking.
Luxury Matchmakers have the most experience and rapport in their field, provide the most personalized services, and offer the most one-on-one time for their clients. Prices range anywhere from $15,000 to $1M and are usually a one-time fee instead of a pay-for-matches structure.
Interested in Finding Your Perfect Match?
Matchmaking is a highly personalized and curated dating experience focused on deep compatibility, thorough vetting, and hands-on guidance. With in-depth personality assessments, carefully selected matches, extensive databases of singles, and thoughtful date planning and feedback sessions, Matchmaking takes the guesswork out of dating.
If you’re tired of endlessly swiping and ready for a more intentional journey to finding love, LUMA Matchmaking is ready to guide you. Please complete your LUMA profile and schedule a call with one of our Certified Matchmakers to meet your best matches today.