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Early Signs That You and Your Date Are Compatible

I believe that any two people who want to be in a relationship can make it work, no matter the circumstances. If you want something bad enough, you’ll do anything to ensure it works out. However, just because any couple can make it work doesn’t mean that they should.

Finding out whether you and your date are compatible early on can save you a lot of heartache down the road. Really, it’s the basis of how well you and your partner will get along in the long term. Sure, we like to think of compatibility in terms of physical attraction, but it’s so much deeper than that. It’s about shared values, how you communicate, and being able to lean on each other when times are tough.

If given the chance, every relationship will grow and evolve, and both partners will naturally become more accommodating to each other. However, I’m a big believer that while partnership is hard, love should be easy. If you’re starting things on shaky ground with the belief that things will get better with time, you’re going into it wrong.

Paying attention to early green flags can give you a solid sense of whether you and your date are truly a good match, and how much you’ll both have to sacrifice to make the relationship work.

 

1. You Share Values

As a Matchmaker, one of the top factors I look for to find the best matches for my clients is shared values. Having similar goals, dreams, and morals is the foundation of any lasting relationship.

That doesn’t mean you need to have the same stance on every topic, be you should be aligned about big-picture ideas like family and career goals. If you share many of the same values, the relationship takes a lot less effort because you two will naturally move in the same direction.

You’ll also be a lot less likely to have serious issues down the road. For example, if financial stability is very important to you, but not to your partner, that’s going to be a source of conflict in your entire relationship. Being aligned on ambitions, dreams, and morals allows both of you to feel more secure in your relationship and build a strong connection.

 

2. Communication is Comfortable

I’ve heard it said that communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship, and I’ve learned just how true that is. If you notice that talking with your partner feels easy and comfortable even in the early stages of the relationship, that’s a great sign that you all share similar communication styles.

If you’re both able to express your thoughts and feelings openly without fear of judgment or causing an argument, you will avoid so much conflict down the road.

You and your partner being able to work through small disagreements without an explosive fight adds longevity to your relationship. If you feel heard, understood, and respected by your partner no matter the context, your relationship will likely be healthy and balanced.

 

3. You Make Each Other Laugh

Being able to laugh with your partner is more important than you might think: having fun together is a top indicator of relationship satisfaction. Humor naturally builds bonds between people and brings them closer together. If you and your date can laugh at the same things, it’s a great sign that you’re on the same page.

What we find funny reveals a lot about our personality. If you have a similar sense of humor to your partner, chances are that you have matching views about the world. Jokes also give us an inside look into our partner’s life experiences, which can help you get to know them better.

If your date makes you laugh and you can both joke around without fear of being judged or offending each other, you’re naturally going to feel more comfortable around them, helping you strengthen your connection.

 

4. Your Lifestyles Align Well

Not sharing similar lifestyles with your partner is going to be a constant source of friction in your relationship. Eventually, you’ll start to notice whether your routines, habits, and hobbies match up, and any distinct differences are going to become sources of contention.

For instance, if you’re a night owl who works the third shift and your partner needs to wake up early to hit the gym before work, your schedule mismatch is going to cause problems. If you and your partner live and work at the same pace, though, it makes spending time with each other easier.

When your lifestyles are in sync, it signals that you can build a life together without either of you needing to make lots of compromises. If you both prioritize similar hobbies, interests, and schedules, your daily lives will blend a lot more seamlessly.

 

5. Mutual Respect

Without respect, any relationship is doomed from the start. It’s important to really pay attention to how your date treats not just you, but everyone around you. Watch how they treat the waitstaff when you two go out to dinner. Do they act respectful and kind? Do they listen to your opinions, respect any boundaries you set, and genuinely care about your feelings?

If your partner checks those boxes, it’s a sign they deeply respect you and treat everyone with kindness. These green flags show that your date sees you as an equal partner, and aren’t likely to become toxic later on.

Mutual respect also means that you’ll be able to settle arguments without resorting to belt-the-belt style fighting. In the heat of the moment, it’s all too easy to get caught up in who’s right and “winning” the argument. If you and your partner put respecting each other above being “right”, your relationship will stand the test of time.

 

6. You Support Each Other

From the very beginning, a partner who’s ready for a loving, lasting relationship will show up for you. Maybe it’s through small gestures like good morning texts or flowers, or they might celebrate your newest promotion at work. Having a partner you can count on to be there for you no matter what is what a genuine relationship is all about.

Even early into a relationship, you can tell whether your date is going to be a supportive partner or not. Do they consistently ask how your day was, and take genuine interest in your answer? Have they tried to cheer you up on a bad day before?

If they’re consistently showing up and trying to make your life easier, they’re committed to the relationship. Feeling supported by your partner is key to creating a healthy relationship where both partners can thrive, achieve their goals, and feel valued and cared for.

 

7. You Have A Lot in Common

Having common interests is usually what brings people together in the first place. Sharing a love of a hobby, sports team, or travel gives you something to bond over and enjoy together. You and your partner should have at least a few shared interests so that you can always have an activity for date night that you both will have fun doing!

You and your date shouldn’t share all the same hobbies. Actually, I strongly advise against starting a relationship with someone who’s too similar to you! However, having a few overlapping interests will consistently encourage you to spend time together.

 

8. You’re Both Emotionally Available

A relationship will never go anywhere unless you and your date are both open to having a genuine, vulnerable connection. If your date is telling you stories from their past, lets you know how they feel, and shares sides of themself that they typically hide, they’re probably looking for a committed relationship with you. If you can both be comfortable and vulnerable, trust and intimacy will come naturally.

When you and your partner are emotionally tuned into the relationship, it shows that you’re both in it for the long haul. You’ll both be more comfortable bringing up hard topics and having tough conversations. Being vulnerable and honest will help you have deeper conversations and learn so much more about each other.

 

9. You Can Handle Disagreements

No relationship exists in a vacuum where nothing bad ever happens. Challenges and disagreements are inevitable, and how you handle fights early on can show you how compatible you are long-term.

If you and your date can work through differences with respect and kindness, you’re both emotionally mature enough to handle a lasting relationship. You frequently have to set aside your pride for love, and having a partner who’s willing to drop their defense to solve the problem with you is essential to having a healthy relationship. You’ll both be more resilient when bigger challenges come up later on.

 

10. You’re Attracted to Each Other

I saved the most obvious one for last! It’s well-known that lust comes before love, and it makes sense why. Physical attraction is almost always what initially brings couples together. After all, it’s the first thing you notice about someone before having a conversation with them. If you think your partner is beautiful or handsome, it’s a strong sign of sexual compatibility.

Of course, emotional connection is more important than physical attraction, but feeling both for your partner is going to set your relationship up for success. We all need to feel physically attracted to our partners, but the deeper connection we share with them is what makes the relationship fulfilling.

 

Need Dating Help?

Finding love is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be so daunting, time-consuming, and difficult.

LUMA Matchmaking can help guide you on your journey to find a loving, lasting relationship.

Learn more about our membership options today and complete your LUMA profile to start receiving high-quality, hand-selected matches.


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