As more singles than ever are seeking alternatives to dating apps, professional matchmaking is gaining serious attention in the dating industry. Revenue in the matchmaking market is projected to reach $4.16 billion in 2025 alone. But with exponential growth comes inevitable growing pains; in this crowded industry, it’s hard to know which services actually deliver. Selective Search might be a huge name in matchmaking, but does it actually help clients find relationships?
In this blog, we’ll break down how Selective Search works, what makes its model unique, how much membership costs, and real Selective Search reviews from 2025. If you’re considering hiring a matchmaker and want to see how Selective Search stacks up to the competition, here’s everything you need to know.
What Is Selective Search?
Selective Search is a luxury matchmaking firm that describes itself as a leader in “luxury love introductions.” Founded in 2000, the company heavily relies on its background in executive recruitment and a data-driven approach to matchmaking. Their process is centered around a 100-point compatibility assessment that promises to deliver personalized, offline introductions.
Unlike other dating services, Selective Search sticks to a traditional, human-first approach. Most of Selective Search’s paying clients are successful singles seeking a long-term relationship. The candidates they’re matched with, called “Affiliates”, can join the company’s database for free after passing a screening process.
Selective Search is renown for its exclusivity and confidentiality, but it also comes with a hefty price tag, making it inaccessible for most singles. The company does actively recruit for their clients, sourcing potential matches from outside their internal database, which adds to its luxury appeal. Its hands-on, curated approach is truly designed for clients who want a white glove service and are willing to invest in a serious relationship.
Who Owns Selective Search?
Selective Search was founded in 2000 by Barbie Adler, a former executive recruiter who transitioned her skills from corporate headhunting to matchmaking. Using her career background, Adler founded Selective Search to combine professional recruitment strategies and personalized matchmaking.
Adler continues to serve the company as its President. Selective Search has maintained its focus on serving high-net-worth and busy professionals seeking long-term relationships since its foundation. The company’s approach emphasizes a structured, data-driven process to match clients.
Adler’s application of executive search principles to matchmaking has certainly been innovative, but some critics argue that her methods can’t account for the emotional nuances and unpredictable chemistry of real relationships. As mentioned, the firm’s high membership price tags and extreme exclusivity have other unintended consequences: Selective Search has a reputation for being elitist, which limits their potential clientele.
How Does Selective Search Work?
Selective Search’s matchmaking process is structured, traditional, and like most other luxury matchmaking firms. The first step for potential clients is an in-depth consultation. During this first meeting, you’ll be building your 110-point compatibility profile to help their team understand your preferences, personality, lifestyle, and relationship goals.
Once your profile is complete, the Selective Search team will either invite you to join as a paying member or an affiliate. If selected for a matchmaking membership, their team will pull matches from two main sources: their internal database of affiliates and external match recruiting. Potential matches are re-screened and interviewed before being presented to you. If both you and your match agree, Selective Search will exchange your contact information.
Unlike other professional matchmakers, Selective Search does not plan dates for their clients. Once contact information has been shared, it’s up to you and your match to coordinate, schedule, and plan any dates. After each date, your matchmaker will collect feedback about how it went to help refine their process.
It’s important to note that only paying clients receive an active, personalized match search. Affiliates, free database members, are not guaranteed matches or introductions.
Selective Search Reviews 2025
As of 2025, Selective Search has a 3.1 out of 5-star rating on Yelp with 27 total reviews. Selective Search has also claimed this Yelp profile, which makes their reviews more trustworthy.
The most positive reviews claim to have stayed with the service for years, feel supported by their matchmaker, and having met amazing singles through the firm. The most negative reviews mention being spammed by the service, feeling scammed into joining, and being introduced to subpar matches. One negative reviewer claims to have been pressured into leaving a positive review before ever receiving her first match.
Overall, Selective Search has a decent reputation on Consumer Affairs, having maintained a 4 out of 5-star rating with 22 total reviews. However, most reviewers on this platform either gave Selective Search a 1-star or a 5-star rating, showing mixed feedback.
The most positive reviews show appreciation for the service’s in-depth interview process, supportive matchmaking approach, and the quality of matches they received. The most negative reviews mention feeling scammed and like their money was wasted. One negative review even mentions that the female matches they were introduced to were on “sugar daddy sites”, therefore not seeking a serious relationship.
As of 2025, Selective Search holds a 4.9 out of 5-star rating on Google based on 36 total reviews. Most reviewers give Selective Search a 5-star rating, showing Selective Search’s positive reception.
The most positive reviews highlight the professionalism of the matchmakers, praise their interview process and the quality of matches received. The most negative reviews discuss a “dismal experience” with the service, claiming to have only been matched with singles who didn’t meet any of their criteria.
There are currently 5 Reddit posts that mention Selective Search, however, one of them remains unanswered and one seems disingenuous. Overall, Selective Search has a mixed reputation on Reddit, with some reviewers praising the service and others remaining skeptical.
The most positive reviews mention having a friend that worked there and saying the service was legitimate. Another positive review calls Selective Search “the best matchmaking agency”. The other positive review mentions marrying one of their Selective Search matches, but goes on in the same comment to say that they’re renewing their matchmaking membership, making us question the validity of this review.
The most negative reviews discuss their friend’s disappointing experience with Selective Search, being matched with men who didn’t align with their preferences or values.
Selective Search maintains a very positive reputation on the Better Business Bureau with an A+ rating. As of 2025, Selective Search has a 5-star rating with 59 total reviews. They have also claimed and accredited their business profile.
The most positive reviews praise Selective Search for the professional and supportive matchmakers, personalized service, and quality of matches. Currently, Selective Search does not have any negative reviews on the BBB.
Selective Search Complaints And Lawsuits
Although Selective Search maintains a strong reputation on most third-party review platforms, the service is not without its fair share of negative press, complaints, and lawsuits. Selective Search has been the defendant in one major, public lawsuit, had a scathing Cosmopolitan article written about its match caliber, and has received 3 complaints on Ripoff Report.
In 2012, former securities trader Larry Greenfield filed a lawsuit against Selective Search and multiple other high-end matchmaking firms. Greenfield alleged that despite spending nearly $65,000 in 12 years for various matchmaking services, he remained single. Greenfield claimed that Selective Search failed to provide matches that met his criteria. He was particularly dissatisfied with one match, a Knicks dancer, who had opposing values.
Selective Search’s founder, Barbie Adler, publicly countered that Greenfield’s expectations were extremely narrow, making it difficult to find suitable matches. Despite this lawsuit being publicly known, we were unfortunately unable to find a legal outcome. Currently, it’s not public knowledge whether Greenfield won this lawsuit.
In 2015, Selective Search was once again the subject of scrutiny. In a Cosmopolitan article, Lane Moore details her negative experience with Selective Search. In the article, Moore describes her extensive onboarding process, including the 110-point personality assessment and standard in-person meeting. She says that the thoroughness of the onboarding process left her feeling optimistic at first.
However, her hopefulness was quelled after meeting her first match, “Jeff,” who Moore claimed “she would never even be friends with.” She explained that Jeff’s personality and lifestyle were in direct contrast with hers, and Jeff possessed none of the qualities that she was looking for in a partner. Moore’s experience certainly raises some questions about Selective Search’s matchmaking process, and whether their high price tag is worth it.
As mentioned, Selective Search has also received 3 substantial complaints on Ripoff Report. The first complaint, posted in 2013, claims that Selective Search failed to deliver on its promises of personalized, high-quality matchmaking. They state that they were repeatedly matched with women who did not meet their criteria and called their matches “low-effort and poorly vetted”.
Selective Search’s second complaint, also posted in 2013, details a frustrating experience, stating that their matchmaker repeatedly ignored their match preferences and made introductions with singles that did not share the same relationship goals. The reviewer also explains how they felt misled and pressured to pay more for an expanded search area.
Selective Search’s third complaint on Ripoff Report again describes a disappointing experience. The reviewer cites a lack of real effort, timeliness, and personalization from the matchmaking team. They do say that they don’t believe the service is intentionally malicious, but go on to criticize the company for high fees without real results. They also echo what all other complaints have addressed: lackluster, incompatible matches.
Is Selective Search Legit Or A Scam?
Based on their matchmaking process, industry reputation, client reviews, lawsuit, and complaints, Selective Search is not a scam. With over two decades in the industry, an A+ rating from the Better Business Bureau, and good client reviews overall, it’s safe to say that Selective Search is legitimate.
However, that doesn’t mean their services are the right fit for everyone. Selective Search has also received a number of negative reviews, including scathing complaints and an op-ed piece about being matched with singles who didn’t meet basic compatibility criteria and feeling pressured to extend or upgrade their membership. The firm has even faced a public lawsuit and been the subject of media scrutiny.
So no, Selective Search isn’t a scam, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution either. Anyone considering the service should weigh the high cost against what you’re truly looking for and ask whether Selective Search’s reviews align with your expectations.
Select Search Cost
Selective Search’s luxury matchmaking services come with a steep price tag. According to their website, Selective Search membership fees are tailored to each client’s specific needs, with contract averaging between $50,000 and $250,000. However, more complex match searches that require recruiting and clients who prefer a concierge, white-glove service can expect their membership price to reach seven figures.
Interestingly, some review indicate that younger clients under 35 who opt for one-year memberships can expect to pay $15,000, while clients over 35 might expect fees starting at $25,000. As mentioned, Selective Search tailors each contract according to the client’s needs, so membership fees will vary.
It’s also important to note that Selective Search does not offer a money-back guarantee. However, that’s common practice in the matchmaking industry. Selective Search does seem to have a refund policy, but the terms for when it issues refunds remain unclear.
Selective Search Success Rate
Selective Search claims one of the highest success rates in the industry, stating that 89% of their clients achieve their relationship goals through the service. They also claim that 34% of clients find love with their first introduction, and 48% find love within the first three to four matches.
These figures seem impressive, but it’s important to consider that they are self-reported and might not be verified by an independent source. Selective Search also does not show how they track or determine these percentages, leaving room to question their methodology.
Is Selective Search Worth It?
Whether Selective Search is worth it really depends on what you’re looking for and what you’re willing to invest. If you value privacy, want a professional to do the heavy lifting, and aren’t working on a tight budget, Select Search could be a great option for you. Their hands-on, highly tailored experience is great for singles who are committed to finding a partner and don’t mind paying top dollar for introductions.
That said, Selective Search isn’t for everyone. Some client reviews rave about their matches and offer success stories. Others walk away feeling disappointed, especially considering the large investment. Although Select Search reports a high success rate, those number probably aren’t independently verified, so it’s worth taking them with a grain of salt.
If you’re expecting constant communication, guaranteed results, a high volume of matches, or a reasonably priced service, Selective Search might not be a good fit. It’s crucial to consider all of your options before making a commitment to any one matchmaking service, and if budget and reputation are your main concerns, there could be firms better suited for your needs.
Conclusion
Selective Search has built a strong reputation in the luxury matchmaking space, offering a concierge-style, recruitment-focused process for high-net-worth singles looking for long-term commitment. Their traditional matchmaking methods and focus on exclusivity are what really set them apart in the industry.
But while their success stories and white-glove services are enticing, not all of their past clients have walked away happy. Between the high price tag, lack of a money-back guarantee, and many negative reviews, it’s clear that Selective Search isn’t the right fit for everyone. The key in finding the right matchmaker for you is to make sure their process aligns with your values, expectations, and budget.
If you’re looking for a matchmaking experience that’s more collaborative, hands-on, and truly centered around your unique relationship goals, LUMA might be right matchmaking service for you.
In contrast with more traditional firms that prioritize exclusivity over personalization, LUMA offer a boutique, client-first approach. Every match is hand-selected by a dedicated, certified matchmaker who works closely with you throughout the process, not just at the beginning. We believe in real compatibility, honest, supportive communication, and quality over quantity.
If you’re ready to stop wasting time on mismatched introductions and want a matchmaking experience that’s built around your values, LUMA is ready to guide you. Whether you’re in Dallas, New York City, or Los Angeles, our team of nationwide matchmakers are ready to help you find real, lasting love.
