When you like someone, it’s easy to look past red flags and think you could just work through it, but once all of that lust and excitement wears off, a person’s values are who you are with.
For example, if you go to church and believe in God, it’s probably going to be a problem dating someone who doesn’t believe or is anti-religious. This will especially become apparent when you’re trying to raise children. I’ve met many people who are divorced because of this exact issue. This is something that was blatantly obvious upfront.
Other such values could be surrounding family, health, and wellness, and now more than ever, politics. Now, no one person is going to match all of your values exactly, but you have to decide what’s most important to you.
At LUMA, we have our clients go through a values assessment to help them determine what their core values are. They can weigh each of their values against each other in order to get a ranking. This, in turn, helps us to match people and helps our clients to recognize what is most important to them.
What are your values? Write them down and when you are considering dating someone, be sure to hold true to your belief system.
Very nice video. Excellent advice. Maybe have a video with a guys perspective at at least a guy as a host too
that might attractive women. Just. suggestion. 🙂
SerendipitousTiming – below is my email to my recently ex-boyfriend that tells all.
Hi John,
I am thinking of you with love and gratitude.
I knew in the beginning that you didn’t believe in God so I had to ask myself, “Why is this an issue now?”
It was a learning process. You are so open to me, respectful and kind with my beliefs, thoughts on spirituality and processes (mediation, breathing techniques). You tick my VALUE boxes: INTIMACY is amazing, you are FUN and PLAYFUL and we are fun and playful together, we have great PEACE together – never arguing, snuggling contently for hours. You are incredibly KIND and LOVING.
What I learned is that my belief and love of God is what connects all my VALUES together and I do want to share the love of God with a long term partner.
I’m sorry for any hurt I’ve caused you.
With love,
Bren
Thanks for sharing, Bren.